Whoa. Two blog posts in a week? What is going on here?? Truth? A few things...
1) Its been a slow work week for me, as students get back into the swing of things. That means that ...
2) I've had some time to reflect and think, about both the new year and its opportunities, and the past year. Finally,
3) I spent time talking with family, getting feedback about the last blog post.
All of those combined, and I feel the need to write an additional post to start the year. It is an 'Apology-Resolution' sort of post, to address two things: an apology to friends and family, and how I/we plan to grow as a family this year... our "resolutions."
To start: I want to say that I've edited the last post, and deleted all the negativity that was the first paragraph. After talking with family and doing some thinking, I realized that I sort of behaved like a toddler: blunt, to the point, and brutally honest. And because, like a toddler, I was pretty vague, feelings got hurt that were not meant to be hurt. So here it is: I'm incredibly sorry to the family that felt confused and frustrated with the last blog post, and I hope to never publish anything that causes that again. One person said it to me best... the memories here need to be all of the good times, because the bad ones don't matter. If I feel the need to vent in the future via blogging, I'll plan to start a new blog altogether!
Onto our "resolutions"... a term I use loosely. Rules are made to be broken. Strength and growth don't necessarily come from not backing down or changing your mind. So as a person, a wife, a mama, sister, daughter, friend, coach, and teacher, my biggest goal, every day, not just this January, is kindness. Always. And maybe to not be so brutally honest ;)
However, I feel that as a person, reflections and resolutions should be continuous. To become a BETTER person, wife, mama, sister, daughter, friend, coach, and teacher, I know that I need to think about becoming better not just at the end of the calendar year, but on a regular, daily basis. So this year, in addition to kindness, I'm adding a few other ideas to my current resolutions, but with the personal knowledge that it is subject to change, and that. is. OK.
I want to work on forgiveness. Some things have happened in my past, and I've carried anger around for too long. It isn't instant, but eventually, I want to be anger free about the past.
I want to work on acting like.... Ruby. Maybe learn to filter things out of my mouth a bit better than she does, but to smile often, laugh at nothing, and enjoy life. I want to be creative, and curious, and sometimes, when I'm exhausted from working all week and mom-ing and wife-ing, I don't want to create or learn. Making it a goal will allow me to make space to do that, and I find that I'm happier for it.
Self care. Right? Not just for us in the mama tribe, but for all people. Stop working so much. Eat right. Train. Take care of your body. Drink water. Sleep. Not all at once, but baby steps, because change isn't instant, change takes time, and change is good.
And.... last one? The one that won't happen, but I'll sure try... Weekly blogs! Does this mean I'm good for two weeks now? ;)