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Advice To My Daughter...Post 5

Tomorrow I turn 33.


A perfect time to think about life. About what it means. What you're doing. Does it matter? What happens next? Where do I go from here?

So in all my reflections (in between tutoring, playdates, meal planning, laundry, cooking, lifting, and cleaning) and in all my conclusions as I end this year and begin another, I figured out what advice I had for you this month.

Some months I instantly know what advice I want to write for you. I know June's advice already, and quite possibly, July's as well. But May? Right before some big life changes come our way? It was throwing me for a loop.

And then I got older, and wiser.

My advice? Don't be so adult.

My whole childhood and adolescence was spent in envy of all the adults I knew. They could drive. They made money. They could do WHATEVER THEY WANTED! I couldn't wait to have that freedom!

But you know what? Adults are too... adulty. They do what they're supposed to. They work. They buy a car and a house. They get married, and have 2.5 kids, a dog, a cat, a fish or two, and buy a bigger house. Nicer cars. Get a better paying job that they don't love. They live The Dream.

But you know what? You don't have do adult. You don't have to live The Dream. You can do WHATEVER YOU WANT. You can go to college, or not. You can wear a romper, or jeans. Or curtains and heels. You can drive a car, or a truck. You can be a high profile lawyer making big bucks, or you can be a ski bum who waitresses to make ends meet. But you don't HAVE to do any of those things.

Adults don't do what they want. The do what they "have to." But why do you have to do anything? Why do you have to buy a house? Why do you have to live in one spot forever? Why do you have to have fancy new clothes? You know what? You don't.

You don't have to do anything but listen to your heart. Your 20 year old self will be hidden down away somewhere, and then one day, you'll turn 33, and think... am I happy? Am I doing what I want? Is my life everything I planned for it to be 13, or 15 or 20 years ago? Your 20 year old self comes out with all the tough questions.

I sure hope the answer is YES. My answer is YES. I have the BEST husband and daughter in the world. I have strong family relationships with people that love and accept us for who we are. I have plans for the future, and they are different... they aren't The Dream. They involve travel. Not home ownership. They involve my kid and husband, not co-workers. These plans I have will take us to the far corners of the world, not stuck in the same suburbia for the next 5 decades.

Am I responsible? Duh. Very. I've spent the past 3 years keeping another human alive, so I'm not a slacker. (See March post about playing too hard...).

Do I do things that are expected of me? Sometimes.

But mostly? I'm doing what my heart tells me. We aren't buying a house. Or a fancy new car. We aren't adulting like pros. We may never own a home, or land. But you know what? We are happy.

So... to quote a beautiful woman: "You do you." Papa and I will love you no matter what. And when life gets tough, ask yourself:

"Am I too adult right now?" Likely, the answer is yes. And the solution? Don't be so adult. Your 20 year old self would agree.

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